deep space rescue
The dream will be shared, it's a brief dream... perhaps just a few seconds long... fear... a great overwhelming feeling of terror... a trembeling child...whom is me...as all things in a dream are the self...laying down in a curled fetal position on my right side...trembling in a penetrating sense of horror...dejected in utter dispair...terrified in some certainty of being helpless...some resignation of being the wholly sacrificed victim to this unbearable fear itself so long endured ...I am paralyzed and have been unable to escape this capture of my awareness ...as I hear footsteps loudly approaching total panic abruptly ends the dream.... it is early morning...I hear birds singing their morning song outside... I am back on earth... I know I must save that child in the dream... whom is I... I must interpet the dream...understand it... for I have abandoned that child in a prison upon the massive stained glass spaceship that is a construct of mind...my own mind...a monstrous construction of ignorance that would captivate all of humanity...but it awaits me alone to return...the stained glass spaceship, larger than the earth itself...is a non physical construction of my mind but as real as my world here in this collective dream of earth is...the dream is as real as my life ...and I cannot ignore it again..together the fearful child and I... whom are one...we are a fractured self...the fearful child awaits the approaching sound of the footsteps...when having awoke from the nightmare, early this morning...I knew I must interpet it and finish it...for there is a deep understanding there...signifigant...for myself alone ...upon the extreme importance of this dream... and it's resolution ...dreams are so important and not be devalued or dismissed ...as we so often do ...we so often dissmiss so much of importance here on earth... this rescue of myself will not go undone another day here on incarnate earth...so I tap out these words to myself, knowing full well that everything is always about the self, even in the most selfless co-operation... is our own life fully significant only to ourselves ...even as I share my most precious secrets of living wisdom... even in my most selfless sacrifice...God by design had placed my awareness central to this "personage" this personality ...by design it is central to my awareness... and petty virtue signaling....even earnest compassion for others does not release me from this awareness of self...from here I save myself from the hedious construct of mind ...a massive stained glass spaceship...the terrified child was left there by me many years ago in this real seeming dream... I had taken L.S.D. at thirteen years old with my friend whom was also my age... we spent the day hidding in an abandoned house ...I remember the spaceship then...it has appeared in other dreams since... and I only now at fifty-one years old am going back to rescue myself from my own abandonment... from my own refusal of responsibility... am I now saving myself...what I had done in ignorance and ineptitude... I go back fully awake now...to correct...to take full responsibility... for the crime committed against myself...and I am the approaching footsteps...I myself the fifty-one year old me returning...the child is my dependence...co-dependence my refusal to take responsibility for myself a relinquishing of the power of awareness... of the significance of choice...and I see he... the abandoned child.. is a horrid neglected creature of want and lack... that only this fully awake cognizant self can heal... I allow the child to cling to me and I take the pain all at once...all the intense pains I avoided through life...all the shirking all the avoided deeds and all the outright deceptions and refusals to accept responsibility.... that I alone am culpable for myself... and I cannot be anyone's victim... I am alone aligning my awareness to my experience and no one else can do this for me...I alone had... and have the power of choice...this whole imaginal drama a very important choice of mental balance...an emotional alignment powerful and significant...and that real power is never to be marginalized or dissmissed ever again...I am healing this fractured aspect of myself... and it is not robbery for me to do the works of God... I am transcending the childish view I once held as truth...knowing that truth itself is only a strong belief... and not some ultimate end all and be all... as I once my have strongly believed... there is now a maturing of my non-physical understanding that we have thrown so much dirt at through the eons of history that it is now the biggest mountain in existence...so it is a non physical mountain ...yet it is a real mountain that few of us have yet to conquer, climb or move from its place... to expose a higher truth...a belief stronger than any known here on incarnate earth...it is unknown even unknowable to those whom have not yet been called... and unseen to those whom have not yet abandoned this physical concioussness...so I do not fear the ridicule, and scoffing... as they have been there all along doing nothing differently... I can be whole again and escape the pains and crushing weight the scoffers must endure... I navigate the stormy seas...through paths of calm water that open before me in the storms... I know that all seeming others are myself pushed out... if I escape this world... so will all these others whom are me... escape...and up ahead there are the ways cleared...of them whom are I...them whom have already escaped... I know my freedom cannot be denied... these dreams we are having ...are all the same dream... being seen from unique perspectives ...and yes even now all the dead are resurrected in a mysterious manner that we cannot know here on earth...for we are the dreamers, in various depths of ignorance to the malleable fact that we are dreaming...we believe we are wise but our wisdom Is folly... it is just so much endless foolishness ... and we are ignorant to our own perpetration upon ourself... until called by a mysterious central authority whom is authentic...we do not awaken... I approach my abandoned self as a child there on that space-ship, I embrace him whom is myself...he clings to me and we meld together as one...as a whole person... an imaginal action stronger than any mans belief in the false idols of dusty earthen form... as the stained glass ship cannot bear my weight and size... I crush and break it into exploding multi color glass splinters and shards...all moving very slowly through outterspace...its sudden disintegration has unblocked our sun from its shinning upon us...our earth exposed to the real light of the sun and not its impersonating radiation of false light...an artificial light we lived within too long... and the vampires whom had sought to use us as food are exposed to the sun ...they wither in its presence dying to the light...also a memory of that same acid trip in 1983... even someone not on acid saw the giant vampire as an image in the clouds dying to the light of the sunset...it is profound to me alone... and a true healing to me alone... my resolution of a dream to me alone... useful and herein upon this page just a distraction or ancient fable retold to you ...Now in this future we agreed to live together again... as eternity must have its acts and chapters...my journeys of these realizations mark the depth of the river my awareness steams out into ... under full power and control of choice...illuminated by awareness in full awakened concioussness... I am deliberately choosing my experience through these words I choose to give creedence to, within my sacred self... and no man or group of men on earth can undo what has been done... even these whom sought to use me... I cast down away from me into fire to be purified... to be cleansed of the dirt of the mountain... I pray for them whom sought to use us spitefully they in arrogance too late realize all they possessed was ignorance... it's perfectly ok that you seek to complete some secret combination of your false power... I am awaiting your attempt at intimidation... your flexing of rotting flesh makes no show of strength...perfectly alright...each moment must have its passing...my patience consumes foolish vanity in the cleaning of the mirror... gaze upon your true un-distorted form... remember the whole script the whole motivation for your scene...where is the promise of his coming....the scoffers challenge...for ever since the Fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were since the dawning of creation...and your memory having failed you In your Ignorance your arrogance quickens my own salvation alone, as you are acting under compulsion you do not understand...neither will I explain...your own secret plans have conspired against you... your own grasping at power have turned to trample your now weak and broken body...your own greed consuming what Is remaining of your putrid form... I will not come for you... not as a savior, to you I am a devil... and devils will you see for a long, long time. I am the Evil, I am the Good...and no man is delivered out of my hand.